Falling from Grace

It is the fall we rarely see coming. It sits, perched regal and great inside my heart. We sometimes fall from one thing into another. In this case, it is the fall from grace into grace. You see, I have fallen like an angel into a world I struggle to understand.

Regardless of how I observe it, no matter how many perspectives I consider or angles I view it from, to me, it appears the world has gone mad. Perhaps it has always been so; maybe this is just my turn to experience a place where truth is malleable, permeable and a little too flexible for my taste. I cannot comprehend why so often we choose hate over love and lust for power and position, while abandoning our families.

What purpose does it serve the cosmos to endure such turmoil? How does it serve humanity to see heroes fall in spite of their warrior strength, and keen intellect corrupted because of various infidelities? We see these falls from grace all too often, and they feel too familiar for comfort.

It is late night, I sit observing the world in a quiet moment from my bedroom; I ramble on. The comfort of overstuffed pillows support my back as the matelassé bedcover spreads out before me in virgin white. A cup of tea warms me as I hold it in my hands. The night is so quite I can hear the traffic signal click green, then red. I bask in its afterglow as it the light enters through the windows and mini-blinds here on the corner of two one-way streets.

Here, where I gather my thoughts, no one sees me ponder our collective frailties. Some of us who inhabit this earthly world choose to stay, while others move on. We nurture the gardens often planted by others while they flit from woman to woman, man to man or company to company with grace and ease—until one day they don’t. The fall from grace can be hard.

These days, I feel like I have fallen from grace in order to find grace. Maybe grace is not best seen not on a red carpet, in an athletic arena or on a runway. Perhaps grace is most radiant as it moves through the muck and mire of living in a messy world.

Could it be that grace thrives most beautifully in our decisions to choose love over fear, kindness over corruption, nurture over nastiness and learning over larceny?

Grace may dwell most deeply in the quiet moments we experience as we sit waiting for the love to return from the shadows of our collective soul.

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